Trust is a way of being – written by Torsten Lueddecke
Part 1: Trusting yourself and the natural flow and evolvement of life
The definition of trust is “the reliance on the integrity, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something”. Please notice: It is about the innate qualities of someone or something, not about certain outcomes or behaviours.
In other words: Trust does not mean, shit is no longer happening. Most of us go through life and “lose“ trust, because shit is happening or we feel disappointment when our expectations in someone or something are not met. Sound familiar?
It is certainly true that events and people often don’t measure up to the standards we are arbitrarily setting. And neither life nor people have an obligation to meet our expectations. People will do whatever they do and life will serve up whatever life will serve up.
Here is the mix-up: Trust is indeed the OPPOSITE of believing that our expectations in a certain outcome or behaviour will be met!
It is the fundamental belief that no matter WHAT happens or not happens, it is all good the way it is as we trust in who we are and our ability and resourcefulness to deal with whatever we need to deal with. In other words, your trust becomes your biggest asset and your source of strength, when times are tough and the expectations you created are NOT met.
Trust is a way of being, a view you hold towards life, a state of being in a deeply rooted harmony and peace with whatever is happening or not happening. Basically you trust that one day you will die and till that day everything is just perfect and the way it is meant to be, even if you don’t understand “the why” at every moment.
Trust puts you into the driver seat. Coming from trust puts the power back into your hands. Without trust your power is at the mercy of either fulfilled or disappointed expectations. Coming from trust you remain in charge and can take whatever action you feel appropriate as you “trust“ that you can deal with any situation no matter how challenging.
Trust makes you powerful and fearless.
That is why powerful people as well as animals display signs of vulnerability to communicate their strength. Exposing vulnerability communicates to rivals and predators that they are powerful beyond measure and thus can afford to show vulnerability. The lion will lie on the middle of the road exposing itself freely as he trusts no one can do him harm – he is the king of the bush. Men tend to display their power by unbuttoning the top of their shirts and exposing their chests (the most vulnerable part of the human body). The message is clear: “I trust that I am so powerful that I can afford to display my most vulnerable body parts“. Trust makes you fearless.
Part 2: Trusting other people
Trust in the abilities of people
Just like trusting yourself and your power and the natural flow and evolvement of life, trust in other people will greatly enhance the quality of your life. So let us recall the definition of trust: “The reliance on the integrity, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” We will never know for sure whether the people in our life will act in a noble, considerate, “trustworthy” and masterful way. But what we do know for sure is that they have the ability to do just that. This is what we put our trust in and this is how we want to show up with the people in our life. By doing that we create a context for people to tap into their own greatness and integrity. As human beings we are extremely receptive to how other people treat us and we tend to live up to how the world around sees us. Just compare a child, growing up in a family that was holding it big and trusting their abilities and compare that to a child that was raised in the context of mistrusting who they are as a person and their skills and abilities.
Trust your intuition with people
Choosing to trust the abilities and the core integrity of a person, is different from trusting that a person will display a certain behaviour. This distinction becomes particularly important when you need to rely on someone’s action and behaviour. If you have behavioural evidence or your intuition picks up “mixed signals” about a person, you can very well trust your own assessment as this person might well be on a journey and not yet be displaying all the abilities and qualities (s)he has inside. So if your results, your wellbeing or your emotional health strongly depends on another person showing up in a certain way, it is encouraged that you make a conscious and wise choice, which person you will want to rely upon.
The reward of trusting people
Your trust in people creates two incredibly beautiful rewards. Firstly it gives people permission to grow and live their full potential. That in itself is an extremely gratifying experience. Secondly you will greatly increase the quality of your interactions and relationships as you always are and have been co-creating the way people show up with you and treat you. We all respond positive when we are around people that respect, value and appreciate us fully. And we tend to reciprocate and show up the same way with them.
People’s struggle to be completely trusting is rooted in a false idea of trust. Trust is not about certain outcomes in your life or certain behaviours of people. It is about trusting in people’s abilities for greatness and our own ability to handle whatever we need to handle no matter what life serves up.
That trust in your own abilities and that of other people as well as in the natural flow and evolvement of life, will have you experience life in a powerful, positive, peaceful and appreciative way. It will enhance all and every relationship and ultimately create more of the results you want for yourself and the people around you. Distrust on the other hand, will create the exact opposite.
The choice is yours.