For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an obsession with notepads and pens, journals and writing. Sometimes I would just write because I enjoyed the activity of writing. lol. Every day there is this urge to write about things… my thoughts… my feelings…
More pressing is the unrelenting urge to write about my life. I have been trying to fight it for so long. It was initially one of the reasons I created this website. But how embarrassing could that be? Sharing my life for anyone to read? strangers?? I don’t really know how to write properly… Everything just seems to come out in a garbled mess and when I read over it I’m convinced I have screws loose. haha! So they remained drafts. unseen. unread. Just taking up space in my mind. unpublished pieces of my history.
But still the urge remains.
Where to even start… struggling to write. I often find myself narrating my own life – weirdooo. But I guess I’m scared as to how I will seem to other people. My moods, thoughts or opinions can be different on almost a daily if not hourly basis! Will writing show me and the world that I am proper crazy? Will people read it and just think I am cooked as opposed to relating to what I have to say or some positive to take out of it. What is the point in writing if it doesn’t help anyone? Do I then write for myself? Then why on a blog?
These are just a few of the questions I have asked myself as I start to write on a website. However, I am learning to trust my intuition more and more, and I can’t even begin to explain how many blogs have helped me over the years. Sometimes I would just type in a sentence of how I am feeling and stumble on the most powerful article or blog post that makes me feel better, teaches me something about myself, or is so thought provoking that I come to my own conclusion on challenges I am facing. So I will write my story in hopes that one day one of my posts will be found and make someone feel better. And if people think I am crazy…well.. right now that is OK. I can be crazy:)